Visiting the Body
When faced with the decision of whether to spend time with the body of a loved one, some people find it too painful and prefer to remember their loved one as they were in life, while others can find comfort in being able to say a final goodbye.
Ultimately, the decision to spend time with the body or not is incredibly personal. In some cultures, it is very common to have an open casket and for family and friends to spend time talking to, touching, and sleeping alongside their loved one’s body, while in other cultures, closed caskets and immediate burials are common.
Some members of the family may think it is important to be with the body of their loved one, while others find it too distressing and choose not to. Whatever you choose is okay. Sometimes, a funeral director may advise against a viewing; however, you will usually be given an alternative option, such as holding their hand.
When can you visit the body?
Spending time with a loved one’s body depends on the type of farewell a family has planned, as well as personal cultural and religious beliefs. Depending on the circumstances of the death, sometimes seeing the body is unavoidable. Family members may be with their loved one when they die, or be the person to find their loved one following their death.
If a person’s body is being cared for by a funeral director, there will be further opportunities for families to spend time with the body of their loved one either in a private or public room. Private family rooms, usually for a small number of immediate family members are often available at the mortuary or funeral venue. Visiting the body in a public space allows extended family and friends to gather around the body and say their goodbyes. Sometimes caskets are also kept open during a funeral or farewell service.
Frequently Asked Questions
Experiencing denial at the loss of a loved one, especially if the death was sudden, is a very common and normal emotion. Visiting your loved one’s body is sometimes helpful as a way for family members to acknowledge the reality of their loss. However, in circumstances where the body is injured or damaged, this could be very distressing. It is a good idea to seek guidance from those who have seen the body, such as police or medical staff, so they can help manage your expectations and help you make the best decision for you.
If you have your loved one at home, it is a good idea to have them in a room that is close to the main gathering area, so people can come to the house to visit, and then decide to spend time with the body if they feel that is right for them.
Having your loved one at home gives you and your family, and your friends, more flexibility to spend time with your loved one as and when you would like to. It can be a good idea to have a roster, to ensure someone is always with the body, and that the number of visitors doesn’t become a burden to the family. Some families, however, encourage an open home and welcome visitors at any time.
One member of the family will usually be asked to identify the body, such as if the loved one dies in an accident. However, this will not necessarily be in the mortuary; sometimes photographs are used.
Deciding whether a child should visit the body of a loved one can be a difficult decision for parents and guardians, and every circumstance, family and child is different. Different personal, cultural and religious beliefs may also affect this decision.
Seeing the body and having the opportunity to say goodbye, and leave drawings or cards can help children accept that the death has occurred, so that they can begin to heal. Usually, children are much more accepting of seeing bodies than adults, and it is an important part of helping them work through their grief.
Parents and guardians should decide what is appropriate for their child, and offer support to help them understand what they will see. There are a number of useful books and resources that can help adults talk to children about death.