Anniversaries

The anniversary of the loss of a loved one can bring up all kinds of emotions. It might even feel like a time warp, becoming aware that another year has passed. Some people choose to take time on these anniversaries to remember and honour those they’ve lost. Others might not want to acknowledge a painful date. Whatever you feel, be kind to yourself, it can be surprising what comes up.

Acknowledging anniversaries

As time goes on, the way you choose to spend the anniversary of a loss might change. What feels right the first year might not be what you want five years later. In some cultures, the custom for acknowledging the first anniversary is an unveiling, where mourners and family gather at the grave site and the grave marker is formally dedicated.

Support people

If you’re supporting someone who’s lost a special person, anniversaries are a good time to check in and see if they’d like some company. Maybe they’d like to talk about it and share some memories together, or maybe they’d simply like a distraction. Let them express themselves and try to be there for them, however they need you to be. It’s okay to ask about it and okay to talk about it.

Alternative anniversaries

The date someone died might not feel like the right date to stop and acknowledge them. For some, they’d rather remember a date without such an emotional load, or one with happier memories attached. There’s no right way to remember someone and no right way to grieve. Other dates you might like to take a moment to remember someone you’ve lost are:

• Their birthday
• Holidays
• The date you met
• Wedding anniversaries
• Anniversaries of other special events
• Solstices