Music, Hymns and Poems
Music, poems and readings are a lovely way to personalise a funeral or memorial service for your loved one. There are no right or wrong choices and the people closest to the person who has died are in the best position to make these choices.
The most important thing is that you and your family are comfortable with your choices and the tone of the service. If you are looking for inspiration, there is a selection of funeral songs, hymns, poems and readings in our Resources section that you might find useful as a starting point.
Songs to personalise your farewell
The funeral or memorial service is an occasion for the family and friends of the deceased to honour their memory. When selecting readings for the service some people find it helpful to think about the books, genres of music, songs, TV shows and films that their loved one enjoyed and start there for inspiration.
Asking yourself the following questions may help:
- What songs did your loved one play most?
- Did they have a favourite band, genre of music, album or musical?
- What was their favourite TV show or film? Perhaps it has a memorable soundtrack e.g. I’ll Be There For You</em> from the TV show ‘Friends’
- What was their favourite book? Are there any underlined passages or quotes that you may want to use for a reading?
- Were they religious?
- What were they like, and what did they enjoy? Perhaps they had a particular outlook on the world that you would like to honour e.g. My Way by Frank Sinatra, or a hobby that made them happy that you could include a nod to e.g. Sailing by Rod Stewart
Choosing poetry and readings
If you are not sure what pieces of poetry your loved one liked, you may prefer to honour their memory by selecting pieces that you like that remind you of them and your shared moments.
Some things you could consider include:
Is there anything in particular you would like to say or share? Sometimes family and friends find it cathartic to send a message to their missing loved one in the form of a song or poem. Perhaps there is something you would like to say to your loved one in the form of a song e.g. You’re My Best Friend by Queen, or Goodbye My Lover by James Blunt.
Are there any special moments and memories that you would like to honour? For example, the song you danced to with your Dad at your wedding, or your parents’ first dance song at their wedding, or a lullaby your Grandmother used to sing to you.
Have you read any passages or poems that have helped you in your grief or that mean something to you? Perhaps you or a family member have written a poem for the occasion.
Frequently Asked Questions
If your loved one didn’t specify their preferences for funeral music or readings, you can choose pieces that reflect their personality, values, and the life they lived. Consider songs they enjoyed listening to, hobbies or passions they had, their cultural or spiritual background, and memories you shared with them.
There is a selection of funeral songs, hymns, poems and readings in our Resources section that you might find useful as a starting point.
Funerals are generally treated as private or semi-private events, not commercial public performances so there is generally no issue with copyright. In many countries, including New Zealand, playing recorded music at a funeral service does not require a public performance licence. This includes: Music played during entry, reflection, or exit.
If the wake is held in a licensed venue (hotel, hall, pub), the venue’s music licence usually covers it. If it’s in a private home, it’s fine. If it’s a hired space without a licence, technically a licence could be required but enforcement is rare for small private gatherings.
Yes, many families find it deeply meaningful to write their own poems, tributes, or reflections for a funeral service. Original writing can capture the unique relationship you had with the person who has passed away in a way that published poems cannot.
Poems and readings can be delivered by your celebrant, a family member, a close friend, or anyone who was significant in the life of the person who has passed away. Choosing someone to read can be a meaningful way to involve people in the service and can provide them with a concrete role during a difficult time.
Most funeral services include two to three songs, though this can vary depending on the length and structure of your service. Typically, one song is played as guests arrive or the service begins, another may follow the eulogy or a reading to allow time for reflection, and a final song is played as the service concludes.
You do not have to choose a traditional ‘funeral song’, hymn or poem, you are free to choose any piece you like. Consider whether you would like a quiet, reflective mood, or a more upbeat environment celebrating the life of your loved one. You may even want to choose songs that create different moods at different parts of the service.
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Use these resources to help you plan a beautiful farewell and navigate your grief journey
Playlists and poems
Poems, Readings & Cards
Poems, Readings & Cards
