Home Funerals
Keeping your loved one at home can be incredibly healing for families and whānau.
You don’t have to have been caring for your loved ones body at home to choose to have a home funeral – many people have their loved ones body transported to their home the day before or on the day of the farewell service.
It has become a popular belief that individuals can no longer care for their deceased loved ones, and need to hire funeral professionals to provide the care needed – however, this is not the case. There is no legal requirement in New Zealand to use a funeral director service.
Personalising your home funeral
Home funerals are kind of the ultimate “make it personal” option, because you’re not stuck in a formal venue with a set script. Here are some meaningful (and realistic) ways to customise a home funeral:
- Set up a photo wall (timeline style: childhood → adulthood)
- Soft lighting: lamps, fairy lights, candles (battery ones if needed)
- Play their favourite playlist quietly in the background
- Have someone play live music (guitar, piano, violin)
- Each visitor lights a candle (or places a flower)
- People write a note and place it in a basket/coffin
- A quiet moment where everyone places a hand on the coffin
- Serve their favourite baking/meal (even just one thing)
- Recipe cards of something they always made
- Wear their favourite colour, team colours or pattern
- Let children draw pictures on the coffin
- Ask guests to bring a single flower each
- If they loved gardening: pots of herbs/seedlings guests can take home
- Ring a bell, play bagpipes, or release bubbles (instead of balloons)
- Give guests a keepsake. Eg. A bookmark (if they loved reading)
Support for home funerals
A home funeral can be fully family-led, or supported by a funeral director or end-of-life doula. There are a wide range of funeral directors working across Aotearoa New Zealand who can support you and your family to honour your loved ones.
As well as directors associated with funeral venues, there are also independent professionals who can support you with after death care and funeral arranging. Before you engage a funeral director, you might like to ask them if they will support you to look after our loved ones body at home and have the farewell service at home?
Many end-of-life Doulas are also able to support you to care for your loved one at home, before and during a farewell service. They can support you to understand what happens physically after death (so nothing shocks you) and guide you through washing, dressing, and laying out the body as well as helping family members participate if they want to.
Find support for at home deathcare
Frequently Asked Questions
Challenges may include: managing visitors and parking; emotional intensity for the household; keeping the body cool; organising seating, toilets, food; not everyone feeling comfortable in the space.
Yes. Many families do a hybrid approach: home vigil + family care; funeral director handles paperwork + transport; cremation/burial organised professionally.
Funeral directors can often provide: a coffin/casket; transfer services; cooling equipment; advice on timing; death registration support.
If you have your loved one at home, it is a good idea to have them in a room that is close to the main gathering area, so people can come to the house to visit, and then decide to spend time with the body if they feel that is right for them.
Having your loved one at home gives you and your family, and your friends, more flexibility to spend time with your loved one as and when you would like to. It can be a good idea to have a roster, to ensure someone is always with the body, and that the number of visitors doesn’t become a burden to the family. Some families, however, encourage an open home and welcome visitors at any time.