Guests and Invitations

For a private farewell, you will need to send invitations to the people you wish to include. You may have a clear idea of who should be there, or perhaps there are people you would prefer not to invite – writing a guest list will help you manage this with your family members.

If there are any gaps in contact information or you are not sure if you are missing someone then looking through your loved one’s address book, emails, phone, diary, or even old birthday cards and letters may be useful.

For open events it is not necessary to prepare a guest list as you do not need to send individual invitations out. Instead, you could post the open invitation somewhere public such as your loved one’s Facebook page.

What details should I include in a funeral invitation?

Whatever format you choose for the invitations, include all of the information that the guests will need to know to minimise the queries you will need to respond to in the run up to the day. Important details to include on funeral service and wake invitations are:

Name of the deceased
Arrival time, date and address of the farewell service
Whether the service is public or private
Contact information and a date to RSVP by, if required
Information about the wake if one is taking place after the farewell
Information about whether flowers or charity donations in lieu of flowers are preferred
Any specific venue information e.g. parking

How can I communicate public vs private?

The key is to be very explicit about what’s public, what’s invite-only, and what people should do if they’re unsure. Don’t rely on hints as people can misread them when emotions are high. For example:

Funeral Service (Public):
Date/Time/Location

Burial / Committal (Private):
For family only

Wake / Refreshments (Private):
By invitation

Seating at a funeral

Traditionally, the first few rows of seating are reserved for close family. If there are elderly guests attending, you may want to reserve seating for them near the front. If you are working with a funeral home, they should have ‘Reserved’ seating signage that you can use, or you can create your own. Ask a family member to be in charge of escorting people to their seats.

If you are providing food and drink, or if you would like to know how many elderly guests are attending so you can reserve seating for them, you may find it helpful to know who to expect. Asking for RSVPs can be a good option to get an idea of numbers if you are posting an invitation publicly, such as on the deceased person’s Facebook page, rather than sending invitations out to a set guest list.

Inviting people to watch a funeral via live streaming

Live-streaming means broadcasting the service live, as it happens, via the internet. If there are friends or family members who would like to attend the funeral or memorial service of your loved one, but they are unable to attend in person, then live-streaming the service may be something that you would like to consider.

A link and a password are needed to access the live stream and these details along with instructions on how to join are supplied to the family by the funeral director, video company, or person setting up the live-stream in the days before the funeral service.

You can then share the joining details and live stream link with anyone you wish via email, text, on a Facebook page or in a group chat. Make sure you include the timezone (especially if people are overseas) and tell people to join 5–10 minutes early. If it’s private, mention if people need a password and ask people not to share piublicly.

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