Go With Grace Turns Two: Why Talking About Death Matters More Than Ever
Two years ago, on the Mexican Day of the Dead, Go With Grace quietly launched into the world.
In Mexico, Día de los Muertos is a time of color, celebration, and remembrance — when families honour their ancestors and welcome their spirits back for a joyful reunion. It’s not about fear or sadness, but love, gratitude, and connection. People decorate altars, share meals, and spend time among marigolds and skeletons — reminders that death isn’t separate from life, but woven through it.
We thought that was the perfect moment to begin Go With Grace — a place that encourages people in Aotearoa to talk about, learn about, and plan for death and dying. Because, as the Day of the Dead reminds us, acknowledging death helps us live more fully.
What We’ve Learned Through Connection
Over the past two years, our journey has been shaped by hundreds of conversations — at community events, hui, and kitchen tables around the motu. We’ve listened to people share their hopes, fears, and questions about dying, grief, and planning ahead. From these kōrero, one message has been clear: people want to plan better for end-of-life, but they often don’t know where to start.
We’ve learned that simple acts — a story shared, a plan written down, a question asked — can make a profound difference. We’ve heard how connection brings comfort, how knowledge builds confidence, and how communities thrive when they have the tools and language to talk about death openly. Those insights continue to guide everything we do — from the resources we create to the partnerships we build and the conversations we spark.
The need in our communities
Across New Zealand, the need for open, compassionate conversations about death is growing rapidly.
An ageing population: By 2048, one in four New Zealanders will be aged 65 or older. With people living longer, families are increasingly navigating complex health, care, and planning decisions — often without clear guidance or support.
The rising cost of funerals: Funerals in New Zealand can cost anywhere from $7,000 to well over $15,000. For many families, the financial burden adds extra stress to an already difficult time.
When there’s no will: Around half of New Zealanders don’t have a valid will. When someone dies without one, loved ones are left to make hard decisions and navigate legal processes at a time of grief.
Dementia on the rise: Dementia diagnoses are increasing rapidly, with an estimated 70,000 New Zealanders expected to be living with dementia by 2030. This highlights the importance of early conversations about wishes, care preferences, and decision-making.
The importance of end-of-life planning: These realities make it more important than ever to plan ahead — to talk with family, write a will, choose an enduring power of attorney, and create an Advance Care Plan. Doing so brings peace of mind, clarity, and dignity for everyone involved.
The need in the sector
It’s not only individuals and families feeling the strain — the entire end-of-life sector is under pressure.
- Hospices and care providers are facing increased demand and shrinking budgets, with many relying on community donations to stay afloat.
- Hospice New Zealand’s Dying Reviews have shown that access to coordinated, compassionate care varies widely across Aotearoa.
- Through the Compassionate Communities movement, we’re reminded that caring for the dying is everyone’s business — not just a medical matter, but a shared human responsibility.
Workplaces also have a vital role to play. Too often, people who are grieving, caring for a loved one, or living with a terminal illness are expected to carry on as usual. Employers can make a profound difference by offering flexible leave, compassionate policies, and supportive cultures where conversations about loss and care are met with understanding, not silence. Building workplaces that recognise grief and caregiving as part of life is key to building truly compassionate communities.
Building understanding, collaboration, and sustainable support for end-of-life care is vital to ensure no one faces dying or grief alone.
Looking ahead
Two years on, Go With Grace continues to grow as a trusted source of information, connection, and support. Our goal remains the same: to make it easier for people to talk about death, prepare for it with confidence, and find compassion in the community.
Over the past two years, we’ve seen incredible momentum — from helping to launch Dying Matters Week, co-hosting the Compassionate Communities Aotearoa Hui, and building partnerships with Hospices, End of Life Doula Alliance Aotearoa (ELDAA), and The Eldernet Group. Our new website now offers even more ways for people to find guidance, share stories, and start their own kōrero.
As we mark this milestone, we’re reminded of why we began on that symbolic day: because death isn’t the end of the conversation — it’s the reason to start the conversation. It’s also an invitation to live, love, and plan with greater care and courage. Explore resources, listen to our podcast, and join the growing movement for a more compassionate Aotearoa.
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